Saturday, June 2, 2007
sigh
felt so so siann today.
seriously i was damn damn sian.
i didnt feel like studying nor msning nor listening to music etc.
it was DAMN SIANNING.
i felt so trapped in my room.
called pj, phey yee, andrew for some questions and none picked up
wheres everyone man?
i havent seen anyone in days
everyone has like siblings staying together, or friends in the same building or something but rachel is alone. i really felt like screaming. i'm stressed i think, although i'm not sure if i've been studying hard. well i have, surely. but i just dont know. its like i'm reading through stuff? perhaps because i learnt before already la so thats all i need to do? but also, i cant remember everything. i always thought that sounded so fake. how could you not? but really, i couldnt'. this is when you feel so stupid. i wanted to speak to my emmanuel dear. and so i messaged him but, somehow i didnt get a reply. mass should be over already what, how come. i felt quite disappointed but i figured, he's probably busy with some stuff la. so when he does get my messages, he'll reply. at that time i was seriously not in the mood to smile, not because of him.. but i was just feeling quite crap. i was pissed at myself for not concentrating. i actually turned off the computer. no music. switched my phone to silent mode WITHOUT vibration. and studied. after about an hour, i checked my phone, no reply yet. hmm?? i thought something happened.. :( but after a few more minutes, i got a message. he had lost his phone in the taxi. used uncle robert's to message me. sigh. felt quite sad actually. his computer crashed, his phone went missing.. all our files are gone. on his side. oh well. ive nothing to say. anyway they're not that important right, at least we're still together :)
i wanna give him a warm big hug. sigh. mount elizabeth hug was the best. i missed him so much and it was really really a miracle i could see him. praise the lord.
you know i slipped a few times!! as in about me going back earlier.. sheesh man. today i almost said that too! goodness. watch it man. i really really hope he doesnt suspect! he's going to watch fantastic 4 on 14th june (i'm back by then!! x)) and pirates some time with his father's friends.. haha should be after this week, which means i'll be back! whee..... please hope i can get out of the house.
for now. PLEASE MUG. rachel. sigh. i'm feeling so sickly, want to vomit, headache. sigh. need to study. dad's coming tomorrow!
11:33 PM.
