Tuesday, May 1, 2007
today mel asked for a plaster
i had of course..
and it reminded me of last year.
i always had a plaster in my wallet BUT when emmanuel needed one during ice-skating, i didn't have. i felt so OMG. and only zelina had. sigh hopeless.
emmanuel messaged me this morning too! just to say he was going for lunch and yeah nothing much but i was so happy! incidentally, i was even thinking earlier, how wonderful it would be he could just message me occasionally, just to let me know he's thinking of me.. like what i did when he was in bmt. whenever i felt like it, i sent a message. so he had a number at the end of each day =) it feels great to have your girl/boyfriend send you messages. just makes you feel so loved. God must have done something! =) praise the lord.
emmanuel called because our skype and msn couldn't work! we talked for 52 minutes goodness. going to be so expensive! but it was great. not really any deafening silence, and quite a bit of laughter.. his voice sounds lower, and i really miss it. such a comforting voice.. lol we were joking about him going clubbing on friday night and he asked what would happen if he "made a mistake" with another girl. then i said i would disappear, he could never find me again. i would you know. if necessary i might just go for music or something in US. I'd block him on msn and will even go to the extent of changing numbers. if that ever happens, i'd be so heartbroken and i'll never talk to him again. but anyway, we're going to last forever! felt so good when he said i love you with emphasis and from the heart. i'm the "sex machine"?? lol. and i said "it wouldn't work without you" and he said it was such a powerful statement! haha. my english is getting better? i dont know. maybe? but that's great. haha. i've been improving my english from him.. i'd always looked up to his english. see the way he messages and talks. it's like so "grown up" and with fullstops. not "dot dot dot". he phrases sentences so much better. and it really struck me in school.. like when the lecturer says a certain topic is not included in the exam.. i write "don't need" and he write "not required". see the difference? and this entire post, will be so much different if he wrote it. =) i'm improving my english, trying to be like him! my messages have changed already.
thank god, he helped my internet connection just now.. i was like praying please please let me go online, i'm talking to him halfway.. thank you lord.
imagine, my boyfriend is willing to talk to me for 52 minutes.
my parents say it's too expensive and won't do it.
they've never even really called me to talk.
10 minutes is considered super long and too expensive.
sigh, sometimes i really don't approve of their thoughts about saving money.
it is true indeed, but sometimes.. i think we should not go to such extent.. i feel so poor.
and i don't like it at all.. like i always need more than $50 in my wallet at any time.
yes i'm probably a spoilt kid, but i just need the "security".
i just need that amount in my wallet, but i won't use it.
i'd probably just be using $5 or something but i need that comfort thought.
strange.. yes.
that's the difference between emmanuel's family and mine.
we have different emphasis.
none is better than the other.
my family rocks..
we have such successful children
family time always takes precedence
we make the effort to have meals together everyday, at the same time.
whenever dad's at home, we don't go out ourselves.
dad always tries to spend time with us
parents care alot about us, overly sometimes
they're very sensitive to us.
they can tell when something's wrong etc.
parents look after us very well
send us everywhere
pick us up anywhere
does everything for us
if we're sick or something, they'll come down immediately
if we end school early, they'll come whenever to pick us up.
mummy quit working for us
parents buy whatever i ask, although i hardly ask.
our family is thrifty.
good, well brought up children
we don't waste time and accomplish many things.
parents plan our lives for us.
emmanuel's family is different.
parents just guide children along
they'll do anything for them eg girlfriend stuff
dad flies over to australia to spend CNY with john. or birthday with emmanuel and friends..
children not that perfect guai guai kind but they're really great people still, in different ways.
parents dont really see where they are all the time
parents dont send them around
they quite independent
parents let children decide on stuff, like schools etc.
they don't have dinner together
they pay more emphasis on other stuff like friendships, enjoying life..
they can sit down and do nothing at home..
they can relax and just have friends or family gatherings very often
they spend money on people like treating friends, letting emmanuel fly over here to visit..
it's just different.
for me, i'm quite happy with my family. the only thing i wanna be different next time, is my money expenditure. for example, daddy has really heavy stuff to carry back to the hotel.. he'll carry himself and walk all the way to save on the tram/taxi fare. it just feels so.. >< goodness. we're so rich, why do this kind of thing? it's perhaps just $3? why suffer daddy? we aren't poor. i'm sure if this was emmanuel's family, they'll get a taxi or something. it just hurts me, when like we have the money, but are saving all the time, so much.. till the extent that we are "sacrificing something". am i really that spoilt? sigh. i realised that was probably the reason why i became such a bitch in upper primary. slowly recalling, i can remember borrowing paper, pen, correction tape, etc everything from other people. "save money" or something. omg. i can't believe it myself but it's true. i would have hated myself then if i came across such a person. did i have to really stoop that low? i never bought drinks in school - not allowed.. (in pri school) except milk. everything was just so strict. goodness what a bitch rachel seriously. luckily i woke up and became a much better person. secondary school was a new start to everything. and luckily it changed my life.. things just started happening since secondary school. =)
11:33 PM.
