Wednesday, May 2, 2007
on sunday i was looking for a card for mother's day.
and i felt so sian.
it's bad i know rachel.
but i just felt like i was doing it for the sake of it..
reading the messages, like thanks for being the best mother in the world, or being there for me all the time etc.
i just didn't feel like they applied to me.
perhaps it's because i don't like things that she's been talking about with me lately.
all the boyfriend talk, love talk, PATERNALISM. man i hate it really.
i'm like so angry that they aren't going to care about what i think, and leave my boyfriend choosing to them! say thats the way it goes in my family. i'm like !@#$% i'm not going to listen to them actually i think, if they do disapprove of emmanuel. i'm going to listen to their reasons but if its like because he isnt rich or he may not be able to support me or whatever shit, i'm not going to take it. i'm studying hard now, earn my money, and be able to support my own "high-quality" life IF its going to be the problem. why must i rely everything on him right? i can do it myself.
i don't miss them, i'm happy i'm in melbourne. i'm happy that when i graduate here, i'd already be old enough to make my decisions.. sigh. but when daddy leaves me each time, i feel bit of emptiness. i do miss him i guess. as long as we don't have conflicting issues which is probably more probable with convos with mummy. stop treating me like a baby alright?
will i go to hell by going against my parents? sigh
12:10 AM.
