Saturday, May 26, 2007
i feel like a one way thing nowadays.
i'm disappointed. i'm really disappointed.
can you imagine he plays dota nowadays till 11pm singapore time? so that's 1am melbourne time. and when we do talk, yeah we talk a little and soon "brb, i'm going to wash up". and from then on, i feel like he's in a hurry to sleep, i don't feel like starting on anything. and if i even want to start on something, i think many times first. is it worth his time? is he just going to say dots, am i preventing him from sleeping, is he doing other things at the same time and not really paying much attention to me? nowadays he doesn't start msning me, he doesn't leave me offline messages, he doesn't really sms me anymore (for fun).. instead, i sms him, even in school i think about him, and do that. i leave him offline messages, knowing he'll see later.. just because i want to say something to him at that point of time. it doesnt matter that he's not online at that particular moment and wont reply me. i check on him, i ask gab about him, i get worried sick about him, he just expects to sit back and relax.. waiting for me all the time. i want an active boyfriend. i'm like giving him to him so much..
and it really isn't helping. i'm preparing myself to tell daddy next sunday, and he's like that? it makes it more difficult. and i'm stressed over exams. can't you like encourage me or something? say something? talk to me sometimes? surprise me, make me feel loved? i'm like lost. i'll wait for you now, today. i wont start msning, nor smsing you. you do it. i won't post any hints about my disappointment just yet. wait and see.
you hurt me.
2:23 PM.
