Sunday, May 6, 2007
emmanuel's got guard duty tonight.
i'm feeling down. well a little. a little more than usual though..
and then i listened to some michael learns to rock songs and it made me worse.
they remind me of him so much..
mummy was like disapproving of me playing those songs on piano during the holidays but I DON'T CARE.
i don't understand WHY you're playing these kind of songs, sounds as if you're thinking of him or something.. SO?? SO WHAT if i AM thinking about him? you can't SCOLD me for that! sigh. can you treat me like an adult? afterall, you've already sent me overseas to take care of myself.. goodness. i will study hard man. RACHEL you gotta show them.
yesterday, walked past a guy with emmanuel's hair spray smell.. sigh.
honestly right, i cannot imagine what i'd be like if we didn't get together. i'd die man, i'd be crying more.. like if he really managed to forget me and like another girl.. i will never tell him how much i love him. then when i look at all the things i've kept.. all the messages, the chatlogs, the photos, the songs, the recordings, looking at his room out the window, thinking about trinity.. i'll just cry. and there would be nothing i could do about it. especially if he's taken already. sad case man rachel..
it's too late. thank god for everything.. at least now, whenever i feel really sad, missing him so much.. i can comfort myself.
hey rachel, emmanuel's thinking about you too.. and loving you so much.. he's yours. you guys will be together again soon and your memories shared between the both of you will increase.. and then i'll smile =) it's true. and i gain my courage and strength to pass the day..
emmanuel's really the best boyfriend anyone could wish for. i really hope we'll always be loving each other so deeply forever.. throughout marriage (hope we do eventually).. he's so thoughtful, sweet, romantic, smart, frank, caring, "emotional" to a certain extent, polite, neat, punctual, atheletic, sporting, funny, "childish", loving, christian, musical, devoted, doesn't care what others think about him, sure of what he wants, good looking, isn't materialistic etc... such an angel.
there's hardly anything bad about him.. nothing that i'd really mind so much too. at times yes he's a little too egoistic, like he can call people noob right at their faces rofl, "easy game man", it's just him la.. not really that bad, i don't mind. well, although IF i didn't know him and hear him saying that.. then i'd kind of write-him-off lol. but OH WELL. i don't mind it now =) it's good to be confident especially when you really are that pro. ;)
just read his message..
lusting about you throughout the day?!! goodness, slow down mate. rofl he's so cool man, messaging me more nowadays.. God rocks! haha =)
less than 50 days before you return.. hehe, yup dude, i'm coming home earlier! x) hope nothing screws my plans though.
was talking to mummy about japan stuff and then she said
err why your message like that one. don't know what i miss you, you miss me.. how come?
HAHA lyrics!
aiyoh can't you put something sensible or something, don't give people wrong impression lor..
DOTS. anything! LUCKILY i blocked her when i put
happy birthday dearie.. K.O. or else i'll just kill myself!! sheesh man..
studied ONE lecture today only, damn slow la rach. it was really super hard though! all that changes of the embryo, don't know why so complicated one.. think our body really likes to beat around the bush too. and ANYWAY, how did people find out all these stuff? these happen inside the body, you can't even see it, and who actually does all these experimentings to a pregnant woman? you could have killed the embryo through like radiation or something.. dang, am i crapping again.
was considering having another blog, public.. lol i keep having these thoughts but always end up making them private.
7:16 PM.
