Tuesday, April 10, 2007
my emmanuel really is the best boy ever.
can't imagine he agreed not to hold my hand when we go out in singapore!
oh my goodness!!!
ahh, i'm really so grateful to him man.
it's definitely not that i don't want to hold his hand but, it's really very risky.
God has helped us the last 14 times we went out.
can you imagine, 14 times?!?!
that's very very lucky.
uncle jacob was the scariest one, the other was wilford seeing zelina too luckily at vivo city.
at least if we meet people or if people see us, it's okay and not so difficult since we weren't holding hands. i mean, just being with another guy doesn't mean anything. but once they see us holding hands, i'm in super deep shit. i won't be able to deny man, if mummy confronts me or something saying someone saw me holding hands with a guy. goodness. scares me just thinking about it! i've always been troubled by it but how could i say right? how could i tell him? that would be like hinting to him not to hold my hand but, come on. what kind of girlfriend am i like that? but THANK GOD. it's all over from now on! whee.... praise the lord.
last night i had a nightmare, it wasn't that dramatic but, it was scary.
i dreamt that i got raped, or more of molested.
ridiculous thing was, by a 12 year old boy.
i was like screaming for mummy and renee but no one came.
when i finally ran downstairs, i saw that they were together in the kitchen doing nothing much.
renee was getting worried why i was screaming but mummy told her nevermind, nothing to worry.
roreal man. i told mummy about it and she said
do you even know what's being molested? tell me what he did. i did, and she confirmed that it indeed was. roreal what the heck man!
i then wanted to run away from the house, because that boy was if i remember correctly, an adopted brother or something to me. and just as i was running out, i got stopped by a girl who asked me where i was posted to. apparently, we all were posted to another country to complete my medicine course! like the different "branches" of melbourne university. okay.. yeah and i was supposed to go to thailand by monday to start school. it was friday then..
what a queer dream.
7:05 PM.
