Saturday, April 28, 2007
he suddenly asked why he never heard or experienced me menstruating.
so yeah i told him.
sigh.
he's so worried now..
and i said
it was stressful getting into medespecially thinking if i dont, i might not see you again or something
serious topic man now.
i've always thought. how cool it'd be if you knew you'd be dying soon.. then you can quit school and do anything you want. ANYTHING you want. how cool can that be? no one will say anything. no one. so fun man.
sometimes i think.. there must be something bad going to happen. things have been going well for me so far.. its scary. wrong logic? weird logic? i don't know. but thats what i think.. like everyone must definitely have a strength. sigh.
the other day at andrew's place. i felt so cold. so cold. everyone was just wearing one layer of shirt. and they all gave me their blanket.. and i even wore gloves! but i felt cold. crazy you know. is there something wrong with me? and also.. i feel dizzy when i stand up, quite often. and like even after injection? crazy man. i dont want to die early. i want married life with emmanuel.
i really want it.. sigh.
i've never felt so desperate to be normal
1:07 AM.
